Acceptance is the key.... interesting article

Learn to accept your partner as he or she is. Don't try to impose your own notions of right or wrong. Compromise isn't easy. Still, it is the only way to grow, says Swami Kriyananda

Women marry with the thought, ‘He will change’. Men marry with the thought, ‘She won't change’. Both men and women are doomed to disappointment. There is much wisdom in those words. Learn to accept your partner as he or she is. Don't try to impose your own notions of what is right or wrong. The best way to change another person is to inspire him to want to change by encouraging their strengths. Never discourage them with by constantly referring to their weaknesses. The need for compromise is one of the first thing to accept in a marriage. Many people consider any compromise a “sell-out” — a surrender of values and principles. This is rarely the case. To refuse to adjust one's personality to the expectations of another, is to be pig-headed. Egotism is the death of wisdom. Compromise isn't easy. Still, it is the only way to grow and mature. Compromise makes us wellbalanced, kind, and wise.
When misunderstandings occur, question yourself — “What can I do to change myself?” To help another person in his development is noble and generous. But to feel responsible for another person's development is to add an intolerable burden to your own.
If you feel there is something which needs to be changed in your spouse’s behaviour, concentrate not on your need to make the suggestion, but on your spouse's willingness to accept it. Be respectful of your partner's right to grow in his or her own way. For each of us
need the freedom to make our own mistakes. To be overly protective of others is to deprive them of the opportunity to gain experience in life, and therefore to grow in wisdom.
When counselling, to tell yourself, “No one owes it to me to take my advice”. Feel gratified, rather, when anything you say is accepted as worthwhile. Give others the freedom to grow at their own pace. Isn't that what you really want, yourself?